So I'm staying the night at a relative's house, and my mom had warned me that our cousin (exact family relationship is hard to go into) is really into flamingo decorations but

BUT

I did not expect there literally to be a giant ceramic flamingo positioned to stare at me while I sat on the toilet.

This is alarming.

Me: Hey mom, Playbill wants paid child guardians with experience with kids and theater. You could do it!

Mom: That sounds like you, Hanna.

Me: HOW AM I SOMEONE EXPERIENCED WITH KIDS

Ughh, I woke up feeling like shit today. My mom offered to buy me a present as a reward for when I finish getting my job applications in (which I meant to get in Monday buuut ( Read more... )